2015

Director: Isaac Gabaeff

Genre: Horror sci-fi

So, this is a movie about a group of teens that party on the beach for a night. Then a few of them wake up and discover that the sand has become a monster that eats anyone who touches it.

Therefore, the deal is this. You touch the sand, you die. The survivors slept in a car, a lifeguard station, and a bench. The car won’t start because the battery is dead, and they have to figure out a way to get off the beach.

This movie is utterly fascinating in the worst possible way. It’s terrible. But I expected that. I was in the mood to watch some bad horror movies. And I wouldn’t call this a good-bad movie. It’s interesting for a very different reason.

That’s because the characters in this are the most stupid I’ve ever seen.

It’s this reason why I wanted to discuss this movie. It is truly baffling to see how easy it would be to survive this movie, and the only reason the sand has any victims is because of the most ridiculous and contrived circumstances.

Let me go over some things that happen.

The characters could easily call for help, but their phones are in the trunk of the convertible car. And we have to watch for minutes as they try to open the trunk in the dumbest way imaginable: by standing on the tiny bumper while someone supports her with a rope so she doesn’t fall from the trunk opening outwards toward her.

Instead of just opening the trunk from above and then grabbing the phones by leaning over the side.

Another character uses two surfboards to walk across the sand over to a bench. And then they completely forget about the surfboards, which they could have easily used to just slowly walk off the beach.

A beach patrol officer shows up. They all warn him to not step on the sand, but he doesn’t listen. He steps out of his car onto the sand, and he’s fine. Because he’s wearing boots.

The sand is completely nullified by wearing boots.

And later they even run across the sand with clothes wrapped around their feet.

It’s not like the entire beach was carnivorous even. Just a small section around the characters was. They didn’t have to run too far before reaching safety.

There are many horror movies like this. Very simple premises that only have victims because the main characters are two stupid to escape. This leads many movies where we have to watch the characters just sitting around and waiting.

There’s nothing really special about this one, but I did find it entertaining to yell at the characters about how dumb they were being.

There are movies like Friday the 13th that people always think of when they think of dumb and cheesy horror. But in those movies the threat is a killer coming after you in the woods. It’s not sand.

It’s not motionless small section of sand.

It’s like have your horror villain be a tree that instantly kills anyone it touches. How do you survive that? Just don’t touch the tree.

Now, this movie doesn’t deserve to be talked about. It was made to make a small amount of money, and it probably achieved that because there’s a lot of people watching all the awful horror movies you see on streaming services.

And this movie isn’t funny or entertaining enough to become a cult hit. But I do think it should be watched by some people.

The unique stupidity of the characters is really something else. And you can have a fun time thinking about all the ways you could escape this scenario.

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