2018

Director: Susanne Bier

Genre: Horror drama

I’m a fan of post apocalypse films. I’m a fan of cosmic horror. I’m a fan of dark and depressing stories about humanity’s struggle for survival and meaning.

So, why did I find Bird Box one of the most boring films I’ve seen?

The premise is intriguing. One day, people start seeing invisible monsters that make them go crazy and kill themselves. This causes an apocalypse where everyone must wear blindfolds. The monsters are everywhere, so if you ever remove your blindfold there’s a chance you’ll die.

That may sound cool, but the film ended up being a boring mess. People seem unsure how to feel about this film. No one really is expressing love about it, and those who disliked it are confused why. So, I’m going to break it down by the three things I stated I’m a fan of.

Post Apocalypse:

Films in this setting are often bleak. Much of humanity has died, and the survivors are struggling to continue. A major theme in nearly all of these films is hope. There’s often a safe space or some plan to create a better world. This is why nearly every post apocalyptic film has a kid in it. They represent the future. Bird Box has two kids in it. They don’t show any personality traits other than sometimes being dumb. That’s definitely an issue. It’s hard to feel hope for two kids with no names or ideas of their own.

Something I really like in post apocalyptic films is a sense of loneliness. Such as the vast desert wasteland of Mad Max or the giant city ruins of The Road. This atmosphere really sells the idea that humanity is ending. I never got this sense from Bird Box. The invisible monsters were everywhere, even in the middle of the forest, so the characters were never alone. And the fact that none of the characters can look around at the devastation nullifies the effect.

I generally don’t think proposing new ideas to fix a film is good criticism, but I just thought of one now and I like it. What if the movie played with the ideas of blindfolds and invisible monsters? What if these creatures only appeared on earth for a short period of time, and then vanished. But no one knows they vanished because they’ve learned to never take off the blindfolds. So we see humanity go through this massive period of fear and change, all to survive against an enemy that is long gone. This could lead to an interesting ending that would sell the themes of a post apocalypse. Imagine finding out for five years you’ve been taking unnecessary precautions for survival. It would be both a cruel and maddening realization, but at the same time you would experience a sudden sense of relief and hope.

Cosmic Horror:

A film that falls under this category is often full of existential dread. They show us how the universe doesn’t care about us and we are just insects that can easily get stepped on. The monsters in Bird Box display the traits of cosmic horror monsters (driving people insane, killing without discrimination) but they completely miss the feeling that cosmic horror should provide. The fact that the monsters are invisible means that we can never feel any sense of dread, because they could literally be anywhere. If these monsters were things the audience could see, or even just something vague like a cloud of mist, than we would feel tension because we can see something that the characters can’t look at.

The fact that looking these monsters makes a person instantly kill themselves doesn’t work. And even worse, it’s an idea better used in a comedy film. It’s like someone in a sketch hearing some bad news, and then pulling out a gun and shooting himself. That’s not scary. It’s funny. And the fact that there were some scenes of these characters stumbling around blindly made for some other unintentional comedic moments that really took away from the horror and drama.

Here’s another idea to fix it, because apparently that’s what I’m doing with this review. Now, one glimpse of the monsters drives you insane, but it doesn’t make you suicidal right away. This would add a whole new level of tension to the film. Imagine, someone you care about sees a monster. They suddenly become inconsolable, muttering to themselves, and getting progressively more unhinged until they commit suicide. That way other characters can react in terrifying ways to the threat, such as locking someone up they know will eventually kill themselves. And how about an ending where the mother has to look at a monster to save her children. Then she gets them to safety but has to leave, because she knows her sanity will deteriorate, and she will die.

Humanity’s struggle:

What I mean by this is the drama of the film. A good way to show drama is to have characters start to unravel and turn on each other. That doesn’t really happen in this film. Instead, there’s just a series of vaguely connected set pieces. The characters have to loot a place. The characters have to deal with a crazy man. The characters get separated and have to find each other. There’s no sense of personal growth or the idea that these people are struggling to adapt.

At one point some characters go to a supermarket to find food. They have to leave some people behind in the house they were staying at. While in the supermarket, one of the characters suggests they just stay here and abandon the people in the house. It was meant to be the moment where we see how evil someone can be in a bad situation, but it makes no sense. They only left like four people behind, and the place was easily big enough for them to live in the supermarket as well. But they didn’t go back and get the other characters because it wasn’t a progression of the story. It was just a set piece.

Also, we see the mother in the future, and apparently she’s lived on her own with her children for five years. For some reason they decide to follow a river to a save zone. But they were in a safe zone. It was safe for five years. Why would they follow a vague hint of a better place? These are just nitpicks really, but I wouldn’t be focusing on them if there was some really intense and scary drama going on.

What if instead, we actually saw the process of these characters discovering the best way to survive. How do you live in a world where you can never look outside again? How about the struggle of teaching children that if they go outside, they have to wear a blindfold? That seems really stressful and terrifying. What if the mother met other parents that had purposefully blinded their children to keep them safe. And she would have to decide whether to do that, or to keep a vague hope that one day they’ll be able to look at the world. That sounds like an intense dramatic situation for a mother to go through. But none of these ideas are explored.

To put in simply, this movie fails because it’s not about anything. It’s not about survival because the monsters are unbeatable and everywhere. It’s not about hopelessness because it shows many characters easily adapting to this situation and being safe for years. It’s not about blindness or anything thematic with humanity forced to live in darkness.

Much like the monsters in the film, the themes and ideas in Bird Box are not really there. I was going to add a star just for Sandra Bullock’s performance, but that doesn’t make the movie worth seeing.

Maybe it’s better if you watched it through a blindfold.

⭐️