2018

Directors: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Genre: Action, sci-fi

My favorite character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is, and always has been, Thanos's chair. 

It's never mentioned in the films, but a quick look at Thano’s wikipedia page reveals that his chair is capable of force field projection, teleportation, time travel, and moving through alternate dimensions. Also it's got these awesome floating arm rests that would undoubtedly fly away if Thanos ever lifted his arms. 

I was very worried they wouldn't show his chair in this movie. 

But they showed it! And you know the first thing that happened? Gamora insulted it. She flat out said "I've always hated that chair." I had to literally restrain myself from screaming "what the fuck!?" in the theater when this happened. 

And you might be thinking that this is all a joke. That I just picked one aspect of these movies to like, so I could make fun of the MCU and the audience. Sadly, this is not the case. I think I truly care for this inanimate object. When Gamora insulted Thanos's chair, it was the only time I had an emotional reaction during any of these Marvel movies.

In my mind, Thanos killed Gamora not because he wanted to get more jewelry, but because she insulted his favorite chair. I also think that's also why he wiped out half of the universe at the end of the film. Spoilers by the way. 

Let's quickly examine my favorite Marvel movies. Guardians of the Galaxy. Prominent appearance of Thanos's chair. Avengers one, I feel like we might see his chair at the end (that movie has my second favorite character, but more on that another time). I'm not really crazy about any of the other movies. And guess what? None of the other movies show the chair.

So what did I actually think of this movie? Well, I enjoyed it. I actually think there's some nice double narrative stuff going on. Thanos feels the universe is getting too populated and bloated, much like the Marvel movies have gotten overstuffed with characters. It was a good time to cut things down. I wish everyone who died at the end would stay dead, but that's why I'm not in charge of financial decisions at Disney. 

This truly would have been a four star movie if Gamora hadn't insulted the chair. Or if in the final scene Thanos had brought the chair with him. 

I'm sorry, I really can't get over this. Why would Gamora say that!?? What's her fucking problem with her father's chair? I get that she hates him because he's psychotic and a terrible father, but what does that have to do with his chair? It's a chair. It floats in space. It has to be comfortable. I know Gamora has probably sat in it at least once in her life. It is not fair to project her own issues on this object. Why did she have to be so mean? It wasn't even "I hate that chair" it was "I've always hated that chair." Was the chair responsible for your messed up life Gamora? No! It wasn't! This is seriously the most emotional I've gotten over any of these movies. 

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